My Aura Is Grey

A chance remark brought me here.

I am just beginning a four-week relaxation therapy class. It is designed to put my chakra in order, to turn my aura in to one of cerulean instead of puce. It is a good day for it. I am wound up tighter than a mainspring today.

Take that any way you choose.

My nerves are on edge, my body is craving sweets. My environment is making me tense (it's the pack-rat thing), the weather is NOT cooperating. I feel like I will explode at the first person who says the wrong thing. Poor Steve. How likely husbands (or wives, or S.O.'s) are the first to get in the way of our wrath! I have already surpassed my self-imposed caffeine limit of the day. I WILL NOT turn to alcohol (bad for the eyes, I found out. Another blog awaits.). Sugar is a no-no. Hence, therapy.

Whether I will become a believer or not, I have yet to find out. Of course, you, my readers,  will be the first to know.

Norma is a person who oozes a quiet kind of energy. The fact that she is teaching this class is not lost on me. She and I connected immediately, with me sensing her need to recover from her mother's passing and her sensing my need for healing. She is full of life-affirming personality, talking so fast sometimes that she can make you dizzy, yet with a spirit that reaches out compassionately. I am happy to call her "friend".  Today I need her expertise.

Right now, I am so tense that my skin itches. My car needs hundreds of unavailable dollars to be fixed. The laundry needs done, supper to be cooked, stuff for lunches to be purchased. I feel like shoving my head into a pillow and screaming.   I think I might need to throw things. Or to throw things OUT. 

This is the out-of-control side of me that I hate. I want to be lovable,  pleasant, and happy all the time (not possible, I know that). I want to be beautiful, admired, calm and intelligent; I want to be loved by all who meet me.  I want my energy and faith and love to be contagious. I want to be remembered as kind and thoughtful. I want hundreds of people to call me "friend' on Facebook and in life.   There I go again--I want, I want.

The relaxation class is another step toward the new me.  I hope it will give me insight into my own consciousness, as well as those around me. I hope it will teach me to be true to what I am,  and not what others think I should be.

Mainsprings run  mechanical things, like watches. If they are tight, they are efficient. Too tight, they freeze up or snap, and are  no good to anyone. Too loose, they don't work at all.

I am aiming for a happy medium. And a much bluer aura.