Counting Down

I applied for social security today. It only took a few minutes online to make one of the most serious decisions of my life.  When it was done, I heaved a big sigh, and waited until Hubby left for work to cry. I feel old today.

I also feel a sense of freedom. I can afford (beginning in August, anyhow) to work one job, no matter what it pays, whatever I choose to do. I don't any longer have to put up with politics or crap in the workplace. I can quit.

Working one regular-houred part-time job gives me time to go to the Y as a patron and have fun like it used to be. Hubby and I can make plans to go out on Friday or Saturday or Sunday afternoon, without having to wait until my schedule works out. I can make those regular forays to the library, or spend a summer evening watching a sunset or going out with friends and daughters-in-law (sons, too!).  I can find time to read again if the eyes allow.

I made a list of all I want to do, and a schedule for when and how--a schedule that is made to be broken! I haven't been to visit my former clients for awhile. I can go back to Saturdays, getting my nails done at a leisurely pace instead of being rushed. Aaahhhhh.

Will my newest in a getting-longer line of new jobs work out? Perhaps. I am no longer afraid if it doesn't. I am no longer stuck, no longer bound to that which I don't want to do.

After a sufficient amount of Lambrusco and chocolate, a sob session and yet another viewing of "The Notebook", I feel better. I am only a day older than I was yesterday.

I made the right choice.