Cousins

My friends talk about their first best friends being their cousins.  They tell tales of growing up together, of sleep-overs and tight-knit families.  My mother had a cousin like that.  Me? Nope.

I had a cousin six years my senior who lived next door, got married when I was twelve.  A couple of others lived far away.  Some boy cousins who I saw on occasion, one with whom I lost touch and reconnected later on.  My grandmother pretty much took care of driving away cousins on Dad's side of the family.  Mom's side had mostly childless couples it seemed.

So one day I had a friend request on Facebook from Sue something.  I know lots of Sue people.  So I confirmed it and wrote to her, pretty much saying OK, I see you have somebody I might know on your friend list, but who are you?

My cousin......say WHAT???

She put me in touch with her surviving brother who I had loved like my own brother when we were kids.  She was much younger than I; I knew who she was, but never got to know her, missed knowing her family, missed a lot.

Suddenly here is Sue, here is Bobby, in my life again.  I chatted with her on Facebook that first night for a long while--alternately crying with happiness and laughing with the sheer joy of family connections.
My Mom's family is tiny.  Most of them have passed on leaving me and my sister.  Now there is this whole group of people I can get to know. Family.

Sue and I are closer in age than I had thought years ago. A five-year difference doesn't mean so much when you are sixty instead of sixteen.  We are both grandmothers now--what fun those kids could have together--all thirteen of them.  Our husbands like cars and music.  Sue doesn't have to do anything.  She is the cousin I should have had growing up.  I want to make up for it now.

Today Hubby and I spent a few hours at a picnic at Sue's house. I felt a little awkward at first, like I should know all these people, but I didn't know any of them, not even Sue. It took awhile, and a couple of wine coolers, to start talking...gingerly....but by the time we left, I knew that given a few minutes over coffee and PB2 that we could become friends.

I don't remember all the names of sons and daughters and grandkids.  I will learn them.

It might seem silly to crave family now after so many years of doing without.  But it is one more part of my past that I want to reconcile.

We have plenty of time now, Sue and Mike.  Pleased to meet you.