Happy New Year (Almost)

I've been thinking about resolutions for 2012.  Every year I make some, break some. In 2011 I did pretty well.  I accomplished a lot of what I set out to do. The most glaring failures I fully intend to rectify.  Some aren't important anymore, but I had to find that out for myself.

The book...ah, yes, the book.  It isn't going as fast as I planned.  The editing is nerve-wracking, the cost is currently prohibitive.  It will happen. It will happen.  Hopefully it will come to pass before my next class reunion in 2014.  Guess I'd better get a move on.

I've lost a few pounds, and I'm in better shape than I was a year ago.  It isn't the result I wanted, but at least it is something.  I will continue this effort for my health as well as my vanity. Wait till you see me on New Year's Eve.

My resolve to do more resulted in lots of changes from my haircut and wardrobe changes to my activities.  I hurt my back which kept me from whitewater rafting as planned, but I did go kayaking.  I didn't get a bike yet (same reason--the tailbone thing), but I have been invited to try snow-shoeing. Yes, you read that right.  I didn't get my East Coast trip, but I did get to Las Vegas. Not bad, huh?

Of course, there were some private resolutions, too, that I never did accomplish.  Why not?  They weren't impossible. It was because I didn't share them.  There was no one to care, no one to make me accountable.  Perhaps if I had had some feedback I might have done things more aggressively, or at least differently.  No matter, they go on my private list once again.

Over these months, since I started the blog, I have become acutely aware of my shortcomings--my sometimes lack of faith, my lousy homemaking skills, my vocabulary among other things---all of which need tweaked to put it mildly.  It's not that these have been ignored, just circumvented....It's time to pay more attention.

This year coming, I have vowed to be a candle that lights the way for others to find God.  I will not hide my faith because it might make somebody uncomfortable, or because they might believe differently than I do...if I can lead one person to God's Word, I will be content.

I will work harder--much, much harder--to say nothing unkind.  I will speak my mind; I will not be a pushover  or yes-woman. I will learn to temper my words.  I want to be remembered for kindness in the eulogy, not referred to as "the bitch".

In case you didn't notice, I've been a bit down of late.  I will drive myself mercilessly to overcome these tsunamis of sadness and frustration. There is not much logic behind them, it just IS.  It will take some doing to understand the wherewithal; it is something I have to do myself.

Hubby has his flaws like we all do, but he is a good man, honest  and steady, and I doubt there is a better kisser in all the world. No matter how mad I get, one kiss turns me to mush even after all these years.  I resolve to reserve my anger, pick my battles and be a better wife.

One resolution I won't make this year is to clean the basement...dungeon...whatever that hell-hole should be called.  It's a depository for worthwhile and not-so-worthwhile junk and treasures.  Some of it has to go, and some of it will--eventually.  The basement has become last on my list of priorities, just below getting a full-body wax job.

Then there is the job --actual work, not wax. I resolved to get a new one last year and I did--not one, but three.  One sent me to Las Vegas but I hated it.  The second makes me more content, but the money isn't enough to survive. The third is sales--it makes me alive!  Looks like I may be job-hunting again.

I'm excited about serving on church council, especially since I have only been a member since last January 9.  Messiah has become my friends, my family and home to me.  I am at peace when I am there.  It is bright on cloudy days, the pews are full of people I trust, my Pastor is a human man with God's word flowing from him.  I resolve to give my church my time, my talent and my finances until I know its mission is fulfilled.

My friends--those I have known more than fifty years, my high school friends, those I have made in the course of my careers, those who are neighbors and Y friends and Facebook friends--have all become so important to me!  Each is a pearl in a very long strand.  When I lose one, the strand is incomplete.  Perhaps this is part of the sadness thing.  I resolve to mend that strand, winning back those that matter and replacing those that don't mean so much with a new lifelong ally.

So there they are, my resolutions for 2012 in black and white, for all to see and to hold me accountable.  The private list will remain just that, although I suspect somebody knows and will encourage me on that, too.

An early Happy New Year, my friends!