Winning

I've been playing Facebook games--slots and Bingo mostly. I win some, lose a lot. I play Scrabble, WWF, Bejeweled.  Win some, lose some.  I am a little bit competitive.

Who am I kidding?  I hate to lose.

Losing at anything is hateful.  I need to be important. I need to have the best, the most, the bragging rights.  I need all the love and admiration and goodies you can bestow on me.  I need to win.

People like you more when you're a winner. They sidle up to you more when you're already popular, beautiful or smart. They smile more, want to pet your fur coat more and have an excuse to shake your hand so your luck rubs off on them.

There are those who refuse to give in to their envy, or lust to share power or whatever. C'mon. You know you want to. You want some of the luck that the winner has.  You fantasize about having those heart-stopping eyes, the fat wallet and the magnetism that draws power from the universe.

Even those who say it doesn't matter what others think--baloney. 99% of them do care, but they feel insignificant or put-upon or afraid to grasp the golden ring.

Part one of my New Year's resolution is to be a winner. I want to see myself in the bright lights. I will be the "It" girl, have my fifteen minutes of fame. I will be a legend in my own mind, as they say.

I read this post over and over, and will do so every day until it is true.    Losing is not an option.

The thing is--it really doesn't matter what others think.

I only become a winner when I feel it in myself.