Worry

I am a worrier.

I come by the trait honestly; I inherited the habit from my mother.

I worry about the health of friends and loved ones, spending time in prayer, hoping to relieve them of their pain.  I worry about their kids and grandkids and the things I see from the outside looking in.  I worry about my clients and customers, wondering how that one with the mean mouth in public treats them in private.

I worry about money, or the lack of it.  I worry about my job. I worry about my kids and their kids.
I worry about the souls of those who believe in nothing, and I don't understand how one can believe in nothing. I worry about the state of the world.

I worry about Hubby's and sons' long drives to work with the weather ready to turn nasty at any moment.  Now mind you, I did that for years and years, and many miles farther than any of them motor now.   However, first of all, they are men.  Women tend to be a bit more cautious.  Secondly, we are not talking about me here; we are talking about men whom I love more than life itself. Thirdly, in those days I didn't punch a timeclock--when I arrived, I arrived. And, of course, Hubby drives in the dark, as do the boys.  I worry about deer running in front of them.  I worry, period.

Why do I worry so much? Because.  I have prayed about it, this bad habit of mine, and I'm OK for awhile, then the fear (because isn't that what worry really is?) raises that ugly head.  Having faith means I shouldn't worry so much.  Easier said than done. 

Last Sunday I worried about a talk that I had to give in front of the congregation. It turned out OK; I remembered the main points, even got a chuckle from the early service. Why was I nervous?  Well, it was the first of several that I will have to do. It was about stewardship. Asking for money is never easy. They gave me a thumbs-up when I finished.  There wasn't anything to worry about after all.

All the other things will be OK, too, and if they aren't, I cannot change them.

Words of wisdom from my friends help me to focus on the good parts of my life.  I need to avoid negative people and negative situations.  I need to surround my psyche with joy.  I thought I had learned this lesson already.  I gave all my problems to God, then one by one I took them back.  Knowing my failure doesn't help matters.

Worry, be gone!  One step at a time. Again.