In Love With Living

It is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of unarguably the most important season of the Christian calendar.  More important than even Christmas, it is the basis of our faith.   Christ died,  paid for our sins with His blood and was risen so that we may be given eternal life.

To a non-believer, it sounds like a fairy-tale at best, wishful thinking or an outright fabrication at worst.  To a believer like me, it is a promise of a better world after death, free from the trappings of modern life.  Salvation is a gift given.  We just need to accept it.

Those of you who read TO BE, my third or fourth blog, sent me email after email, questioning if I was indeed suicidal.  No, I assure you, I am not.  I don't know where those words came from.  Perhaps they were given to me to write so they could touch someone.  I am prepared for the after-life experience;  I am not yet ready for it. 

I am in love with living.  In the past few months, I am learning again to experience things as a child--with curiosity and simple faith.  Oh, yes, I want it all.  I want to make everyone around me a friend.  I want my faith to grow by leaps and bounds.  I want people to say, "Marilyn...Isn't she the one who is so kind to everyone she meets?"    Yes, I want to spread my faith and my joy to the fellow in the deli and to my acquaintances at the Y.  It is not a matter of preaching, it is a state of being.

There are days when I fail miserably.  I see everything wrong with my life and none of the good stuff.  My anthem is I want, I want.  What I really want is not the jewelry or the classic car (though I would not kick a T-bird out of the driveway) but to be at peace within.  Some days are harder than others.  I complain about the snow, yet I love its clean whiteness-- in December, anyhow. (Let us not get carried away.)  I complain about my job, but I love the freedom it gives me.  No, I am certainly not perfect in my faith.  I  am trying.

In this Lenten season, I will make a greater effort to see things through faithful eyes.  I will try to be gentler and quieter.  I will smile at a stranger every single day.  I will enjoy what I have, and try to not be envious of what others have been given.  However, I will not give up chocolate.

Lent is a time for introspection.  I have a lot to learn.