The Men in My Life

The men in my life vary in age and stature. Some are mere boys, either physically or emotionally.  They are grey, sandy-haired or dark, with thick curls or balding.  Their eyes may be brown and/or green, hazel or blue.  Some are my blood, some not, some may as well be.  They are slim, muscular, a bit thick around the middle.  They are tattooed or not, pierced or not.  It doesn't matter. They are mine.

Some of my men are remarkably well-read, some extremely talented.  Some don't know enough, as my granddad would have said, to come in out of the rain.  Some I would call knowledgeable, some just plain know-it-all.

Some of them are peripheral, striding in long enough to make themselves known, then poof! Others linger when I wish they would go away.  Some are attached to a friend. 

Some of them I genuinely like, some I love with every fiber of my being.  Some I grudgingly tolerate.

Some of the men I know make me feel smart, pretty and special; others leave me with a sense of never being able to do anything worthwhile.  Some make me laugh.  They make me feel good just by being.  Some are talkers, some rarely speak.  Some might share a coffee, but will share none of themselves.  That emotion or thought that you think is too precious to share?  It is worth nothing when kept inside.

To some, I am a gift and they are grateful that I am a part of their lives.  To others I am an afterthought.  Others won't remember my name or my face.  They are the men I love, old friends and new ones, acquaintances and passers-by.  Each of them has a place in my heart or at least in my life.

I don't choose my friends by gender.  They are in my life because they fill a need--for love, energy, humor, information, competition  and kindness.

The women in my life fill those needs, too. They are, in general, more supportive, gentler with criticism, freer with advice, more vocal about their faith, less political.   They are less vain (myself probably excluded!).  They are usually more compassionate, less stubborn, have greater tolerance for pain and are more quick to rush to aid a friend.

I am not willing to give up the opportunity of a lasting friendship based on gender.  It isn't about flirting (OK, sometimes), sex, protectiveness or anything else.  I have chosen my life mate;  my sons and cousins and others are my blood; others have fit in as friends, co-workers or just people I know.

Each of them has a place in my life.  I hope I am worthy to have a place in yours.