Someone, Somehow

I'm not going to tell Hubby about it, not yet anyway. He worries about me on the road so much.  I don't expect you to tell him, either.  I came so close to dying that my life flashed before my eyes.  Not all of it, just the sins.

I-79 was perfectly dry. There was no snowstorm like there was last time, no fog like the time before.  Traffic was light.  There was no reason whatsoever for the double trailer to be stopped in front of me.  It wasn't over far enough on the berm, the second trailer hanging out on the right lane.  A quick scan showed a pick-up bearing down on the left. WHERE DO I GO??!!  Of course, I hit the brakes...and a patch of ice.

Someone, somehow took over the steering wheel.  Someone, somehow made me miss that truck and the too-fast pick-up.  Somehow, someone spun me out of harm's way and landed me on the berm instead of the median...

Those seven terrifying seconds jolted me into reality. I was OK, the car was OK, the stuff on the front seat thrown to the floor.  While an angel steered, I was bombarded with visions of every lie I had ever told, every lustful thought I had ever had, even the caramel I stole from Woolworth's when I was five.

Part of my renewal is opening myself up spiritually.  I pray and pray, yet the answers seem not to come, or to tiptoe in so quietly that I don't hear them. This time, I felt like God was shouting, "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??"

I am human. I need to make amends for some of those sins. Others are long past, and would do no one any good to rehash.

Seeing one's life go by this way isn't pleasant, especially with the car careening down the road at 65 mph, spinning around and landing as though placed there. Especially when one knows that someone else, somehow was doing the driving.

Whew.