Baby Steps

A two-day hospital stay is what I was expecting.

A month later, I am still recuperating.

Simple procedure, he said.

What no one, especially me, predicted was that the anesthesia would leave me on a respirator for three days and on oxygen for three more. No one, especially me, expected that I would be virtually paralyzed for the better part of four days, or remain in ICU for five.

Much to my frustration, I couldn't walk without a walker. I felt old. Hubby wasn't happy...he said he was afraid the walker would become a crutch, no pun intended.

Finally I was moved to the rehab center. The physical therapists were wonderful--helping me to get dressed  and to bathe each morning and night, pushing me to do a little more each day, getting me some much-needed fresh air when the sun shone.

I was beginning to think I would never walk again. I'd cry when I was alone. I thought I would never again be able to drive myself to my favorite park or walk along the pier.....

My goal became to be able to dance on our anniversary, just a week away.

Four hours a day of therapy often left me more hurting than determined, but at last I was able to take one slow, small step unaided. Everybody cheered! And on Thursday, the day before my release and the day before our 44th anniversary,I asked Jordan, my wonderfully committed therapist, to dance with me. Tears and cheers from the whole department!

It is a month since my two-day (HAH!) surgery. I can walk around the house unaided. I still cannot drive, bend, lift or twist. I need help shopping, and I still drive the motor cart at Walmart. I need to sit often.

I am ready to get my life back. I'm tired of pain pills and sick of clinging to someone when I go anywhere!

The first place that I will go when I can drive is not to Walmart, but to the bay where I can spend time absorbing the peace of the clear blue water.....

They tell me that time will come, but when? I'm impatient. It seems all my dreams are put on hold, and I'm tired of waiting.

My pastor came to visit a couple of times, and his words rang true. The only way to get well is by baby steps.