Revision

There comes a time when one has to take stock of her beliefs, her relationships, her ideas. Things change. The brain gets weary of sameness and repetition....the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, the same way, and expecting different results.

There is a Japanese gravy boat on my kitchen shelf (collecting dust and holding a few memories), given to be by a friend who found it at a yard sale. It was given to me because the friend knew I collect things marked "Made in Japan" or "Nippon". We shared a friendship only briefly, then, apparently  bored with each other or recognizing our dependence on each other, we went our own ways. I haven't seen Pat in a long while. It's time to put the pitcher away and fill its spot with something new.

I cleaned out my emails, too, and trashed the "helpful" criticisms, the useless spam, the briefly interesting tidbits and cartoons I had saved.

Lastly, I am vacuuming the shelves of my brain, ridding it of the wants I no longer want, the needs I have satisfied and the people and things I no longer wish to remember.

I can count on one hand the acquaintances who know I collect Japan, marked only, figurines and whatnots. How many know of my stash of salts and peppers, or my miniatures (especially Santas)? Do they offer a game of pinochle?  How many of them say stuff that hurts because they don't remember? The acquaintance that remarked I must be blind when she forgets that my loss of vision is no laughing matter, or the ones that tell me I'd be so pretty if I lost a few pounds.  I forgive. I have to decide if it is worthwhile to forget.

It's not that I'd dump somebody because they don't know much about me. I just want a few of them to want to be close enough to care. 

My resolution for 2013 is to hold tight to the people and things I love most, and to empty the closets and hiding places of the ones who don't care enough to get to know me. 

Second chances? Sure.