The Hard Way

It seems I am destined to learn everything the hard way.

My health is one example, my work another, my book still another.

I tend to begin with great enthusiasm, only to peter out when the flow gets interrupted, or even stalled. When it ceases to be fun and turns into work--I quit.

I've been like this all my life. I don't want to do anything that becomes a chore or obligation. I want to do because I want to do.

The end result is failure in so many ways. I am not powerless, yet I feel that I am. I haven't the energy--although that is improving--nor the desire to complete the stuff I have to do.

I don't want to.

The book is the best example. It is written. It needs some editing and to be put on PDF files. The publishing date was moved out of necessity, and, soon as I realized that, the joy of having written a virtual best seller (kidding, folks, only kidding) was diminished to the point of not caring.

The drawers and closets that I planned to do are still waiting. The chore was simply overwhelming.

How does one overcome this issue? I do get tired fast, but that is not the underlying cause.

The bottom line is still I don't want to. I have to, but I don't want to, it's that simple.

The time has come to rid myself of excess baggage, to clean up my act, to get the book finished and on its way to Barnes and Noble.

I suppose it will happen, but, as always, it will have to be the hard way.