Losing in Life
Losing a person you love, a job you enjoy, a beloved pet is hard enough when it is by death. Expected or not, it leaves us with an empty hole that seems to take forever to fill.
What could be worse?
Losing in life.
Death brings its own conclusion. The closure helps us to deal with the stages of grief, and most of us fare pretty well, resigning ourselves to the fact that ending comes after every beginning, and it always comes too fast. There is some preparation for the inevitable, even relief in some circumstances, but it is never easy.
Losing in life is much harder. You know the one you miss is out there somewhere. Maybe disappeared, never wanting to be found. Maybe your emails or phone calls are ignored time after time, till the hurt first becomes unbearable....then turns to apathy. You feel like an afterthought.
What went wrong? That's the question.
Sometimes the answer is 'nothing'.
You could keep on trying to reconnect. You could beg forgiveness for sins unknown. You could send a gift for a special occasion (or no occasion), or an invitation. You could ask mutual acquaintances for updates. You could send a note or show up if you know where that missed one will be.
You could forget and move on, hoping for the best, expecting nothing in return.
The hurt doesn't go away because there was never an ending, only a postponement.
Whether you have a wake-up call of your own demise or the inkling of someone else's leaving (by this, I mean not just death, but going away), the answer is the same.
Life is finite. Death is final. Estrangement needn't be.
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