I'm Shy

Well, not most of the time, but in some situations and with some people I get positively tongue-tied. It takes a lot of effort and pep talks to get over the feeling of dread in those situations.

Other times I get into trouble because I say too much, or word it all wrong.

It's a no-win.

I've been watching some friends play a game of "what you may not know about me". I tell you now, I could write reams on the subject. I spent so many years being introverted and reclusive that very few people got to know me at all.

Then one day I began my blog. And another day I began to change. And now, I am not who I was. The shyness still surfaces from time to time, but mostly I am put together.

There are some things no one will ever know, not because I am ashamed of them, but because they--unlike the mustache fiasco--are too private to share. Some things are better off unspoken.

I also wonder if anyone cares about the things they don't know about me. I can't remember a time when anyone cared enough to ask about the other me. Those who know me now want to see me as I am. Those from my past remember a different person and have to get to know me all over again. Those who met me during my transition period probably think I'm flaky because I had discovered new things about myself and my emotions were in an uproar. Oh well. It is what it is.

We live and we learn. We take to our hearts people and trivial memories and our choices. We file them away in our mental catalog and bring them out to savor (or to reject) at the oddest moments. Some of those remembrances may make us wince, some will make us cry, with some we will rejoice.

It doesn't matter how we respond, only that we do.

Like the shyness that I still have to work to resolve, there are a list of things in my life that I need to get over. I need to make them memories and to store them somewhere I can look back and not carry with me.

Ten things you may not know about me? HAH! I can think of dozens!