Hungry

I can't get enough of lots of things.

Hugs. No such thing as too many.

Jewelry, like chokers, watches and earrings. Overflowing, and designers still find something new to tempt me. I really need to take care of that.

Chocolate.  I admit to being a junkie.

 Coffee. Dancing. Sunsets. Autumn leaves. The lake.

But the last week or so I'm just plain hungry.  It's like I am trying to fill an empty place inside with bologna sandwiches, those awful little cups with indistinguishable fruits, Cortland apples and ice cream suckers. Oh, and bananas.  Plus my usual peanut butter, Hawaiian punch single-serve-tubes-that-you-put-in-a-bottle-of-water and fat-free Pringles.  I am insatiable.

I don't know exactly what the trigger was.  I've traced this bad habit back maybe a week.  Suddenly I am craving everything in sight.  The Dog even gets full from the tidbits I toss him.  Last night he walked away from the last of the pretzels and went to bed when I searched through the fridge for leftover roast beef.  He snorted in disgust at the fudge-striped shortbread cookie I offered.

Hubby just sighs and goes off to work.  I think he's afraid to see what concoction I will eat next.  He watched in amazement as I ate the bacon. I rarely eat bacon, but I felt like a vacuum cleaner when I saw that plateful of BLTs.  I have to stop at Target on Friday. I want chocolate-covered espresso beans.

I haven't been on a binge like this since. .well. . .I can't remember when.  My job(s) saves me somewhat.  I'm at work over the regular lunch hour, and I take only a drink to the client's home.  I work most evenings and I try to avoid the pizza-breadstick habit of the break room.  Last night I took everything but the gum and bottled water from my car.  I will have to chain myself to the bedpost to keep me from the midnight raids on the Kenmore.  My black pants are going to be too tight to zip.  I will have to trade them in for skirts with elastic.

I admit to having an addictive personality.  If I am not binging on bananas, I will find something else--jewelry (a new friend works at my fave jewelry store), lingerie (trying to justify the new white and black lace I found), slot machines (only on the 'puter, not the casino), caffeine from Starbucks or some other bad habit.  I may need Valium.  Or a bigger income.  Or duct tape over my mouth. Or elastic waistbands...oh, wait...the scrubs have elastic. . .

I can't put my finger on whatever triggered this binge.  I'm a bit leery of stepping on the scale.  I haven't had time for the Y, but I need to find time to walk before dark on the days I don't work, maybe at the cemetery or the park, maybe in the morning.  I need to get back into the habit somewhere away from food (except coffee, of course).

I'm sure the cravings will end.  Sooner or later I'll go back to where I was, or maybe I will finally luck into the one thing that will satisfy this outrageous hunger.  It's a matter of perspective and breaking a habit, or maybe trading it in on a healthier one. I'll see if the coffee beans work.  Or Kahlua.

Meanwhile, I'm glad I hung on to those elastic waist pants.