It Might Be "YES"

I've been doing a lot of asking.

I say prayers, light candles.  I ask for love and jobs, friends and money, peace in my soul, excitement in my life.  Everybody (well, almost everybody) gives me answers, support and so much love and respect that I almost feel selfish accepting it.  The private notes alone seem to elevate me to sainthood!  Ah, but I am not a saint. Any number of folks can attest to that.

The new job will go a long way in proving my worthiness or lack of it.  Several have mentioned the likelihood of ending up in a bad neighborhood.  I have no fear of that.  If I am afraid, or if my stomach flutters at the mention of the address, I will refuse.  Another job lies around the corner.  If the client is crabby, I can soothe her. If she is antsy, I will calm her. If she is just plain mean, I will quit when I have had enough. I know I am capable of that now. But my first inclination is to say "YES".

I apply my mother's words, paraphrasing, of course.  Always ask.  You'll never get anything if you don't, and sometimes the answer will surprise you and be a "yes".

I've met people (most of them men, it seems, no offense meant) whose lives revolve around "NO". They are afraid that a "YES" might be a committment, when "YES" is only an action.  Want coffee? No, it might mean more than coffee. Change jobs? No, even if I hate what I do. Learn to laugh harder or cry longer? That's for sissies.  No, no, no....and you wonder why you are so darned unhappy.  Try "YES" occasionally.

If I have learned anything in my year plus of growth, it is to think hard before saying "NO" and to not be afraid to say "YES".  Too many times in my life I was stuck in the "NO" mode. Where did that get me?

I don't regret saying "YES" to the love of my life.  I do regret saying "NO" to a college degree.  I don't regret saying "YES" to my sons; I do regret saying "NO" to learning to ski, watching a live game of MLB, running for political office and kissing Hubby good-bye when I am really miffed.

Asking for things we need isn't wrong or selfish if we have no means to get them by ourselves. As long as we try, there is no shame in asking.  This has been a hard lesson to learn.  I, like most of us, prefer to be self-sufficient. Some carry this too far--some to the extent that they would rather starve themselves of food, assistance, fun or a loving relationship when all it would take is to ask.

That's part of the reason I wanted this job.  Someone has asked for a little help.  I am able to give it.
Would it make a difference to them if I had said "NO"? Maybe....maybe they would find someone else to satisfy their need, but maybe I would be better at it.  Maybe I am not right for the person or the job.  Well, we'll never find out by saying "NO".

When you ask me for anything, be assured that my "YES" is as well thought out as my "NO".  I've come too far to not be willing to at least try. Thanks for giving me your "YES" when I asked.