Jezlebub was the sister of Zitzenbio and they were the children of Katinbloom and Snodgrass Smith. third cousins of Tiddlewinks some times removed. The two were inseparable, not like Toobald and Hirsute, but because they liked each other. An older sibling, Annie (who was made fun of because of her name) didn't quite fit in with their mischievous behavior. Besides, Annie was positive that there was a Higher Power, and Jez and Zits were never really sure. The chasm grew between the three (four if you count their brother Hurtsalot who was constantly fighting with Ezra, the town drunk) till it made the Grand Canyon look puny.
It was a sunny day in the middle of May when everything came to a head, including seven pimples on Zitzenbio's nose and three on his neck. Biganddumb Nosebetter, the town bully, was on a rampage. For most of March, all of April and all but two days so far in May he had terrorized Jezlebub and poor Zitz, and with Zitz' nose getting ready to erupt any second, well, he just made a better target for Biganddumb. It had reached a point where townspeople would line the streets at 4:02 p.m., waving flags; the town cheerleader would bounce around with her pompoms and little white boots (they hurt her feet but the town fathers insisted on them) and everybody would sing "On, Wisconsin".
Along would come Biganddumb, and he'd stand in the middle of Main Street waiting for Zitz and Jez, and soon as he saw them he'd wind up that big ol' arm of his and start pounding poor Zitz while Jez wrung her hands and wailed. Why nobody came to his rescue is a mystery. An even bigger mystery was why Zitz and Jezlebub walked that way every day as if wanting to see poor Zitz bloodied. (It later came out that Jez really did have some issues and in therapy years later she admitted to a secret crush on Biganddumb.)
Well, on that day in May Zitz got wind of a bookie who was taking bets on the daily outcome. Actually, Zitz was downwind from the bookie (Jeremiah Sludgebody) who had a terrible body odor and when he went to investigate the stench, he overheard several townsmen and one woman kibitzing on his fate-to-be.
Well, Zitz had had enough. He dropped to his knees and said a heart-felt prayer and asked for a miracle, and when he stood up lo and behold, his forearms were like tree stumps with fingers, his biceps were big as cannons, his triceps were like, like, like...well, I don't know, but you get the idea. He popped out of his shirt like some sort of Incredible Hulk (how come David Banner never ran out of shirts?) and ran towards Biganddumb like an out-of-control freight train (or like Jezlebub after a few Manhattans).
Biganddumb, being too stupid to move his carcass, stood stunned while Zitz had his way, punching here and squeezing a zit there, until Biganddumb couldn't take much more and threw up on Zitzenbio's patent leather shoes.
Oh, the reaction of the townspeople! Hey, they had lost a ton of cash betting on Biganddumb, the "sure thing" and they took after Zitz and ran him and Jez straight into Bugspit, Georgia. So the bookie made a bundle, huh? Not exactly....one townswoman, full of faith that Zitzenbio would win one of these days had wagered two dollars for every dollar the town put up against Zitz.
Annie walked away with a big smile and and a scrub bucket full of moolah.
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