Dizzy

So many connotations.

Remember when we were kids, how we would spin 'round and 'round till we fell to the ground?  The world would continue to spin...my friend Jane broke her collarbone doing exactly that fifty years ago.  It was a silly game, anyway.

Remember the first time you were kissed by somebody special?  I was so dizzy with joy I forgot to turn out the lights, tripped over the dog and danced up the stairs.   I stumbled to my bedroom, my head spinning, absolutely giddy.  Couldn't wait to do that again...

How about the first time you drank too much?  Trying to keep one foot on the floor to make the room stop...ooohh....

And the way things below looked when you flew for the first time, or visited a tower or even climbed a tree?  Didn't you want to jump and try to fly?

How about when you passed that exam, be it a physical one or an intellectual one?

Dizzy with worry, dizzy with distractions, dizzy with happiness, dizzy with relief.

Dizzy as in dumb...dizzy as in blond  (you are not being kind when you call me blond.  I am silver, thank you)....

Like many things, being dizzy is purely subjective.

I am, at this moment, in the throes of life-altering decisions, a couple of them actually.  Hubby, while not thrilled, is supportive in his own way.  It is a dizzying time.  My mind is weak from processing too much.  I am fully caffeinated (read: in a stupor), probably not a good time to make any decisions at all.  Having one already made, I find myself dizzy with relief.   The second, conceived in a dizzy state, will have to be thought about some more when I come down from  my iced-coffee high.

Poor Hubby.  Imagine if you had to live with the dizzy trial that is me.  I am not a dizzy blond, nor a ditzy person in general. I have my moments these days, though, when the dizziness takes over my senses.

The mind is an amazing thing.  It can be drenched in despair, sad beyond comfort.  It holds millions (billions?) of useless facts, yet fails to recognize the single truth. It allows us to find chaos among order and joy among troubles.  It knows right from wrong, yet lets the wrong often win. It is a dizzying array of knowledge spun into a fabric of sometimes-madness.

I need to sit back and examine the dizzy confusion.  I need to lay off the caffeine and sober up. My mind rambles.  I want to do what is right, if I only knew what right is.

I guess it is time for bed.  My Hubby isn't here; it's a work night.  My big mutt doesn't care if my world spins so long as it doesn't disturb his beauty sleep.  My brain isn't ready to jump off the merry-go-round just yet.  It keeps on spinning, running in circles without me.

I'm getting dizzy.