Icebreakers

You know them as well as I do.

You shake hands.  Instead of a warm, two-handed grasp or a firm return, you get a non-medically-induced limp fish in your hand.  It's enough to make you wipe away the clamminess on your silk shirt, but you don't want to be rude.

One day he or she will be full of laughter; the next you feel like you've been slammed by an iceberg.

This type of person will give you no gradual letdown, no explanation whether legitimate or not, just a sudden cold shower.

We all know how it feels.  We all hate it.

You know, sometimes truth hurts.  So cry and get over it.  Hubby says I can be too forgiving sometimes.  I don't think there is such a thing.  I would much rather be an estranged friend for a reason  than to be a what-the-hell-happened one.  It's the not knowing, not the knowledge that makes one crazy.  But there are some folks that are so spiritually cold that they refuse to share themselves.

Work relationships can be like that, too.  We bond over company experience; we talk, complain, commiserate.  Then somebody moves on.  The bond breaks.

I love quickly and deeply.  I forge chains that my optimistic self never wants to have fall apart.  Years later I can still find that broken link and try to put it back together.  I am a fence-mender, a people-pleaser.  Oh, I know how to get angry, and sometimes I will spout off from my dark side.  Of course I am not perfect.  Tell me if I have hurt you.  I will apologize, and I will mean it from my heart.

Life is so short.  Wasting it by avoiding people or things we have a problem with isn't productive.  I am learning to face my fears, face the consequences and move on to a better place.  I want to be surrounded by warmth and peace, good feelings for the most part.  I don't want to be afraid of running into anybody because of things unsaid or misunderstood.  Oh, yes, I want the world to be one big cup of warm honey, full of hugs and sweetness.  Sickening, huh?

I was part of a discussion about how many wars, personal and public, could be avoided if our egos weren't so big.  No, when it comes to my country I am not a pacifist.  My private life is something else.  A bit of honesty, put gently, can make or break a moment or even a life.  How much misery might be avoided with a simple phrase like "How about coffee?"--and mean it.  Smiling and "hello"--is that so much to ask?

Spouses, friends, acquaintances, relatives should try to put the fear and the ego aside once in awhile and start fresh.  Maybe all you need is an icebreaker.  Coffee, double cream, on ice, sweetened, works.  So does the handshake, two-handed, not fishy, and a hug.

Your best friend may well turn out to be the person you never tried to know.