An Open Letter

My friend was just diagnosed with breast cancer.

I wish I could help. All I can do is to be there. Maybe that will be enough.

My dear friend,

I understand some of what you are feeling. The difference is that I had no time to think or to make choices. You have had much too much time to think. I was nearly diagnosed too late. You have been treated early. That's a good thing.

You say you are confused. Yes, even months after the event, the thoughts whirl like a tornado in my brain. You know you will survive, or do you? What can I accomplish? How much time do I have? Can I still do the things I love to do? Yes, but it takes time, and you will still have uncertainty months from now.

Will the though of it coming back  haunt me? Yes, my friend, but the prayers of those who care about you will hold you up. You have a husband and friends who will be there through everything.

Your healing is in the hands of a surgeon. Pray that her hands will be guided by God. He uses people to do His works, too.

The things I have been through these months haven't been fun, and they are not over. I have become dependent again after I finally learned independence. I sometimes fear rejection where I used to feel confidence. I get the blues sometimes, and for no particular reason. I get days of perfect confidence and joy. But I have learned from the experience, too.

I have learned to be more compassionate. I have learned to appreciate every day. I have learned to lessen the stresses of everyday living as much as possible. I have learned to love unconditionally, and to make amends along the way. I can't force a friendship, but I will fight for it. Every person, every touch of kindness, every smile gives me strength.

I do understand much of what you are feeling, even if I cannot put it into words. I don't mean to sound dogmatic or, perish the thought, condescending. If I talk too much, tell me to shut up and to listen instead. If you need to vent, I can be your sounding board. Sometimes you may not want to voice your concerns to your closest family. That's what friends are for.

I just want you to know that I am here.

With much love,

Marilyn